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“Every time I remember that time travel doesn’t exist I fall into inconsolable melancholy. I’ll never get to see the expansion of the American West! I’ll never use all those important life skills I learned in Oregon Trail II! On the upside, I’ll probably never die of dysentery.” - Mary
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“Dream Theater: I had to fill in for an ice skater at the Olympics, tried to flirty text my partner, ended up texting his coach instead.” - @megturney
“I’ve always been small, so I’ve gotten used to being carried. Carry me!!!” - Heather
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“My favorite drink is a Manhattan! Best part is, I only need about one big one to get drunk!” - Heather
“I’ve seen Fleetwood Mac, Genesis, and The Police in concert. I guess I’m trying to tell you that I’m 60 years old.” - @misshezah
